I am the galaxy itself

A lifetime learning writer and lawyer // 8 novels // currently writing 12 Bilingual Children Series (also release in Europe)
// Instagram: zhiclopedia

How come you never watch horror movie in cinema?"
“Why? You don’t find enough horror in our adult life?

"You’re going to ask me out," I accused him on the third day of knowing him.
“Uhm, actually, no I’m not. I want to ask you about another thing,” he almost burst into laugh.
“Oh. You will. Eventually, you will,”
“Errr… I’m not gonna be so sure about that,” his eyes told me that I’m definitely not his type.
“It means I should ask you out, then,” I sighed. He just shook his head and walked away.
Three days later, he came back, asked me for a date.
Three years later, he asked me to be his wife.

—Sometimes you just have to ease away your shyness - true story about my marriage

So I drown myself into the meaningless lousy music, turn up the volume until my ears bleed, until my head explodes like the way my heart shattered into pieces. It’s not sadness that hurts the most. It’s the handful of ‘what if’ that keep my eyes open night after night.

One day, I’ll turn into something brave and fierce. Stand tall. Head up. Cry for one whole day and get over it, like nothing ever happened. Until then, I’ll just bite my trembling lips every time these tears trying to betray my pride.

—This is broken heart in silence look like - ZS

I knew I matured when I realized every situation doesn’t need a reaction. Sometimes you just have to leave people to continue to do the lame shit that they do.

After gaining back my sanity, which took a lot of time and bravery, I do what normal human being always do after a silent break-up, the one where we simply drifted apart from each other: I reflect.

I am looking back like watching old movie, see how could such a beautiful thing like me and him ended so abruptly. If only I wasn’t too focus on the good memories, I can see clearly that I wasn’t too happy either.

We both had a huge ego, bad memories about our relationship, cheated here and there, once or twice, caging me in a prison of insecurity. And even if I was always so happy around him, we never had a good or funny conversation. We didn’t understand each other, we didn’t talk much: we kiss. The only thing we had in common and we always talk about is about how much I love him, or how much he loves me, although we both had no idea how can we love each other.

The simple realisation struck me like a lightning, burn me inside and out with a shameful fact: I am in love with the idea of him, not he himself.

—The Art of Losing You - ZS

Why is it love often appears selfish?

When did it stop being about the person you love? Is it the world we live in today?

Too many proclamations and not enough love. All of the words offered appear to begin with “I”. Love; when did it become about what the object of our desires do for us? When did it stop being about just loving them?

Was it ever there?

I love you
I love you because
I want
I need

I, I, I…………

Loving in silence is what I have learnt.

—Navin E. (pondering why love appears selfish)

(Source: wordswritteninsilence, via mariacadman)

As a dystopian novel, I found myself keep comparing this book with George Orwell’s (Animal Farm) or Margaret Atwood’s (The Handmaid’s Tale). The writer built the characters and setting in a very strong foundation. But I didn’t found enough conflict or philosophical questions inside the book. I also found myself dissatisfied with the ending. But it’s probably because I have to read all of the other 3 before judging them. 
However, it’s 7 out of 10.
But I’ll be definitely watch the movie. 
#bookreview #book #writing #review

As a dystopian novel, I found myself keep comparing this book with George Orwell’s (Animal Farm) or Margaret Atwood’s (The Handmaid’s Tale). The writer built the characters and setting in a very strong foundation. But I didn’t found enough conflict or philosophical questions inside the book. I also found myself dissatisfied with the ending. But it’s probably because I have to read all of the other 3 before judging them.
However, it’s 7 out of 10.
But I’ll be definitely watch the movie.
#bookreview #book #writing #review

All of these years,
I’ve been writing you love letters.
In my mind, on my tongue, beneath my throat.
Just because I wrote you poetry
In a language that you don’t understand.
Doesn’t mean it’s not there.
It’s there.
Touch me everywhere,
I’ll show you the song inside every trace.

The idea of losing you, as I always believe, is painful. But it is nothing to compare with the feeling I got when I realized that I’m not irreplaceable. You’ve always been the biggest part of my existence, yet it wasn’t enough for you then. It’s not enough for you now.
It’s driving me crazy. The feeling of defeated, inferiority, the fact that I’m inadequate to anyone to love.
But can I really blame those who can’t love me as much as I love them? The pain that I brought for myself is not anyone’s fault. It’s me. Shame on me for digging too deep. Shame on me for loving too much.

—My Sanity After Losing You Again and Again - ZS

There’s a time when you finish a book, you close it and think “Damn, I want to write a book like THIS!” 
That is exactly my reaction to this amazing book. This book is not an easy one to read, and my emotions ran wildly from sadness to hilarity to terrible anger at what happens to him. Bullying, cruelty, sickness, kindness, faith, friendship: every great things are in this book. 
It’s recommended for kids, young adults, even adults too! 
I’d give it 9 out of 10.

There’s a time when you finish a book, you close it and think “Damn, I want to write a book like THIS!”
That is exactly my reaction to this amazing book. This book is not an easy one to read, and my emotions ran wildly from sadness to hilarity to terrible anger at what happens to him. Bullying, cruelty, sickness, kindness, faith, friendship: every great things are in this book.
It’s recommended for kids, young adults, even adults too!
I’d give it 9 out of 10.

Finish reading this book, I end up hypnotized by the storyline. It is intense, exciting and also endearing. The author has successfully created the amazing plot by slowly reveal the storyline. I failed to guess the ending, and I’m grateful for that. The characters are also appealing and out of every stereotype in every aspect. It’s so unusual and full of questions about humanity, gender and even education. 
Highly recommended. 
8.5 out of 10.

Finish reading this book, I end up hypnotized by the storyline. It is intense, exciting and also endearing. The author has successfully created the amazing plot by slowly reveal the storyline. I failed to guess the ending, and I’m grateful for that. The characters are also appealing and out of every stereotype in every aspect. It’s so unusual and full of questions about humanity, gender and even education.
Highly recommended.
8.5 out of 10.

Funny to calculate all the time we’ve spent in the class, learning about things like universe, psychology, law, and everything, but we never really had a chance to learn about ourselves. Why do we live? What makes human human? What is the purpose of the life itself?

—Dunia Tanpa Pria

Book Review: If I Stay

People keep comparing this book with The Lovely Bones, a book that I can still remember even years after I read that, so I decided to read this one too.
I guess I put too much expectation due to the fact that this book will turn into a movie and everything. It doesn’t inspire me, it doesn’t fill me with questions like The Day I Die or The Lovely Bones. The writer seems to throw me memories and expect me to understand why the girl decided to stay just because her high school sweetheart desperately wants her to (it doesn’t make any sense to me that boy & girl kind of love could be your only reason to live, even after knowing that your whole family already died).
Or maybe I’m just immune to love story now.
I’ll give this book 3 out of 10. I’m deeply sorry. I have read it line by line, from cover to cover, but there’s nothing new or exciting.